Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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