What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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