I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
