So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
