you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
