Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just gargled with NyQuil
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
