So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
