Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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