doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
