Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
