What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
