I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
