I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Green mimosas i think yes
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
