That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
