Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
