i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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