I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
