Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry eblmonkey hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

Fav 5 1897 1137
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.

Fav 18 2481 3508
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(862): View more from New Jersey

watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin

(1-862): View more from New Jersey

doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you

Fav 19 1523 3145
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

Fav 10 3703 1664
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

Fav 5 4038 1208
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

Fav 10 1182 1804
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(225): View more from Louisiana

Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.

Fav 10 2323 854
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad

Fav 4 446 608
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.

Fav 0 21 43
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT