I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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