my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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