Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
