fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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