i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Shame - the story of my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
