mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
