I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
