Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
