New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she told me i tasted like america
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
