There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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