Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
