She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
no. you can't hotbox the world.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
