The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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