I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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