What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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