no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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