Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
