Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
