I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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