i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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