His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Green mimosas i think yes
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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