Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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