it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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