Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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