I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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