You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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