Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
