Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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