I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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