Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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