Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
is that a dick in a sweater?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
