I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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