How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
cat food counts as protein by the way
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
