So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
