Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
