Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize